Baby Teysko - we lost you on Tuesday night and you are back up with the angels in heaven. We are so sad. Words cannot express the agony that we feel right now. I am clinging to your dad. He is clinging to his AA support and sponsors. I delivered you at the hospital, and we have a box that has pictures of you. I have not looked at these yet, and I don't know when I will. Someday, maybe, I will be strong enough to look at you. Not yet. Not today.
I am understanding the meaning of living one day at a time; and this morning, our first morning back from the hospital, I am finding comfort in doing little things like cleaning up the house - it got to be really messy while I was sick. Now I know I was sick so long because you got sick too. We were both making each other sick. I am so sorry. Anyway, I am cleaning up the dishes that have been in the sink for a few days, and paying attention to the cats, which they like. I am crying a lot. A whole lot. I didn't know it was possible to cry this much.
We are going to heal, and we will try again. Because that's all you can do in life. The alternative is to go crazy, and there's not much point there. We know that we will have a baby. It won't be you. I won't call any other baby Baby Teysko - that is your name. And when it comes, we will tell it that it has a little brother who is its guardian angel, and maybe then we will look at the pictures together.
We love you so much, and even though this is the worst pain imaginable, I wouldn't have traded having you inside me for 20 weeks. I'm pretty sure that you're up in heaven now, hanging out with my grandma and your dad's grandmas, and they are so happy because they get to meet you. We will meet you someday too.
Love, mom
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Baby T, we're SICK
Baby T - we've come down with the flu, you and me. Well, probably me more than you. You're probably just wondering why mom is in such a crappy mood. I hope you're doing ok in there. Being sick makes me worry about you - I'm drinking a lot of fluids because they say that's the most important thing for you right now. But I still worry. I don't want you to get sick too. We're taking care of ourselves, though, as best as we can.
The big excitement is that we're going to London next week, the two of us. We're going to hang out with your Uncle Sandor and Aunt Anna Louisa, and we're going to expose you to some lovely choral services at Westminster Abbey, and King's College in Cambridge, and we're going to eat as many number 43's from Wagamama's as we can. Yay for your first trip to London! Oh, we're also going to look for a pram for you at Mothercare. I really want a nice European-style pram rather than the tacky carseat-stroller combo's they have here. So we're going to have fun in Mothercare and find you a lovely pram so I can walk you around the lake in the springtime. Yay!
The big excitement is that we're going to London next week, the two of us. We're going to hang out with your Uncle Sandor and Aunt Anna Louisa, and we're going to expose you to some lovely choral services at Westminster Abbey, and King's College in Cambridge, and we're going to eat as many number 43's from Wagamama's as we can. Yay for your first trip to London! Oh, we're also going to look for a pram for you at Mothercare. I really want a nice European-style pram rather than the tacky carseat-stroller combo's they have here. So we're going to have fun in Mothercare and find you a lovely pram so I can walk you around the lake in the springtime. Yay!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Baby Wardrobe
I also bid on a lot of gender neutral stuff - 40 pieces, 0-9 months, on ebay. $25. Dang, I'm good.
I had fun washing and folding all the stuff I got the other day. It's all in a cleared out drawer in my dresser for now. We'll get you your own cupboard when we do up the nursery. But for now, we're sharing :)
I should say that I'm feeling GREAT the past few days. I've been really watching my sugar intake, and I think that's helping, especially first thing in the morning. Eggs and steel-cut oatmeal for us. No cereal. No juice. None of that stuff. We're doing good, me and you. Tonight we're going out. I've been putting off getting a haircut for weeks because I've been too tired. But we're doing it tonight. And we might even go to Target if we're feeling really adventurous. Tomorrow and Sunday we're going to rock out at the Epicenter concert in Fontana. Get your earplugs ready!! Don't worry. If it's too loud, we'll go sit in the car. I don't mind looking like a fuddy duddy. I have bigger priorities now.
Love,
mom
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Another month, another doctor appointment
Dear Charlie/Hermione;
We had another dr. appointment today, and got to hear your heartbeat really loud and strong. Yay! I'm so proud of your heartbeat! It's beyond awesome.
I'm so glad that you're going to be born at White Memorial. I really miss living around there. I love our place now, and I'm glad you're going to have your first years in the clean mountain air and away from city life, but man, there's just so much more personality in East LA. For example, the muffler shop outside the exam room now has a computer chair sitting upside down on its roof. Because really, where else would you put a computer chair? And we are so gangsta - your dad noticed that somebody tagged the dust on the windowsill. Seriously? But Dr. J is beyond awesome, and we've decided that you're going to rep East LA by being born there. You can maybe wear a Dodgers outfit home (though your dad is still thinking about that one since he's lost at the moment with everything going on in the owners' divorce - maybe someday he'll explain it to you), and I can call you mija and not sound too much like a poser. And even when we move around and live in Pennsylvania, and England, you can still have your East LA street cred and listen to Don Omar if you want.
Anyway, I don't have much to say at the moment. I'm feeling pretty tired - it was still dark when we woke up. So I'm going to hope I sleep well tonight. I've taken to curling up with a cat when I lay down, hoping that their purring relaxes you as much as it does me.
Love you,
mom
We had another dr. appointment today, and got to hear your heartbeat really loud and strong. Yay! I'm so proud of your heartbeat! It's beyond awesome.
I'm so glad that you're going to be born at White Memorial. I really miss living around there. I love our place now, and I'm glad you're going to have your first years in the clean mountain air and away from city life, but man, there's just so much more personality in East LA. For example, the muffler shop outside the exam room now has a computer chair sitting upside down on its roof. Because really, where else would you put a computer chair? And we are so gangsta - your dad noticed that somebody tagged the dust on the windowsill. Seriously? But Dr. J is beyond awesome, and we've decided that you're going to rep East LA by being born there. You can maybe wear a Dodgers outfit home (though your dad is still thinking about that one since he's lost at the moment with everything going on in the owners' divorce - maybe someday he'll explain it to you), and I can call you mija and not sound too much like a poser. And even when we move around and live in Pennsylvania, and England, you can still have your East LA street cred and listen to Don Omar if you want.
Anyway, I don't have much to say at the moment. I'm feeling pretty tired - it was still dark when we woke up. So I'm going to hope I sleep well tonight. I've taken to curling up with a cat when I lay down, hoping that their purring relaxes you as much as it does me.
Love you,
mom
Monday, September 20, 2010
The weekly recap
Baby T! You have no idea what this past week has been like. I've been feeling kind of icky and not sleeping very well. My bank account got hacked (you don't need to know what a bank account is yet - let's just suffice it to say that you don't want it getting hacked) and then on Saturday, after I initiated a stress-reduction-intervention on myself and was walking through the woods at the lake, I nearly passed out. It was really scary. I was walking along, minding my own business, and then I sat down, and before you know it I was feeling faint, and dizzy, and throwing up, and the whole thing was just plain nasty. So much for my contemplative walk in the park. My first thought, of course, was your safety. But I am assured that you are warm and safe in there, and whatever was going on was just my body reacting to something.
Actually, I called the doctor today to tell them about it, and their current theory is that I'm anemic, and had a little spell. That would explain a lot about how I've feeling. Tomorrow is my next scheduled appointment, so they will test for anemia then. Either way, I'm a little freaked out to go back to the lake by myself for a little while. So I will be conscripting your dad to go with me. It was a very scary couple of moments for me. I didn't know what was going on, and how I would make it back to my car. But it passed, and we're all right now, me and you. I even feel you moving around pretty regularly now. It's still not strong enough to have your dad feel yet; I just feel it on the inside. He's hoping that it happens soon - he's anxious to start bonding with you, too.
Speaking of bonding, your dad has been talking to you a lot lately. Nearly every morning when he wakes up, he rolls over and says good morning to you. When I leave for the office, he kisses by belly. When I come home, he pats my belly. And man, is my belly growing.
This was me over the weekend. Check out that belly on me! It's kind of crazy. My back is starting to hurt, but it's ok because then I get more backrubs from your dad. Yay for backrubs!
Anyway, I'm hoping I get to sleep early tonight because we have our appointment with Dr. J in LA tomorrow morning at 9. Early! I have to leave at 7-ish then. Yuck!
Hopefully I'll get to hear your heartbeat again. Oh! I caught it on the home doppler on Wednesday, I think. Really strong and clear. I heard mine, and then I moved the sensor just a little bit and I heard a heartbeat that was twice as fast. That was you! I tried again yesterday and didn't hear anything, but you've probably moved around. Dr J will find it tomorrow. Yay!
I'll be 18 weeks on Wednesday. You'll be around in 22 weeks or so. Pretty soon we'll be halfway there.
Love you,
mom
Actually, I called the doctor today to tell them about it, and their current theory is that I'm anemic, and had a little spell. That would explain a lot about how I've feeling. Tomorrow is my next scheduled appointment, so they will test for anemia then. Either way, I'm a little freaked out to go back to the lake by myself for a little while. So I will be conscripting your dad to go with me. It was a very scary couple of moments for me. I didn't know what was going on, and how I would make it back to my car. But it passed, and we're all right now, me and you. I even feel you moving around pretty regularly now. It's still not strong enough to have your dad feel yet; I just feel it on the inside. He's hoping that it happens soon - he's anxious to start bonding with you, too.
Speaking of bonding, your dad has been talking to you a lot lately. Nearly every morning when he wakes up, he rolls over and says good morning to you. When I leave for the office, he kisses by belly. When I come home, he pats my belly. And man, is my belly growing.
Anyway, I'm hoping I get to sleep early tonight because we have our appointment with Dr. J in LA tomorrow morning at 9. Early! I have to leave at 7-ish then. Yuck!
Hopefully I'll get to hear your heartbeat again. Oh! I caught it on the home doppler on Wednesday, I think. Really strong and clear. I heard mine, and then I moved the sensor just a little bit and I heard a heartbeat that was twice as fast. That was you! I tried again yesterday and didn't hear anything, but you've probably moved around. Dr J will find it tomorrow. Yay!
I'll be 18 weeks on Wednesday. You'll be around in 22 weeks or so. Pretty soon we'll be halfway there.
Love you,
mom
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday Snoozes
Hey Baby T! We had a fun weekend. Your dad's best friend from when he was a kid came up from San Diego, and we had Thai food in Lake Arrowhead. I think you liked it! They were up late doing paintings, and I took a nap at around 5pm. I've been napping a lot lately. I don't sleep well at night, so I need to nap throughout the day to make up for it.
Sunday I made a pot roast in the crock pot. I'm not a big beef fan, but it sure smells good in the fall and it makes the house all warm and delicious smelling. So we ate pot roast all day yesterday, and took naps in between meals and watching football and formula 1. I also made an apple pie, so we had that, and that was yummy. Of course when it came time to go to sleep at 11pm, I couldn't, and was up until around 2. It's very frustrating. I just lay there and think and have imaginary conversations, and the whole thing is just bad. Your dad got up early to go fishing when it was still dark outside. Now he's back and napping, and I'm trying to get some work done.
I'm almost 17 weeks pregnant which is almost halfway there. 23 weeks left. It doesn't sound like much. I know things are only going to get harder with sleeping, heartburn, etc. So I'm kind of looking forward to it ending. I don't want to wish it away, though, so I'm trying to stay positive, and enjoy the peacefulness and miracle of you growing inside of me.
I just need a good night's sleep and I'll feel better. We're listening to trance music to stay awake. ATB and Tiesto and some mixes on youtube. It's helping. I think this is the first time we've listened to trance music together. I hope you like it!
Love,
mom
Sunday I made a pot roast in the crock pot. I'm not a big beef fan, but it sure smells good in the fall and it makes the house all warm and delicious smelling. So we ate pot roast all day yesterday, and took naps in between meals and watching football and formula 1. I also made an apple pie, so we had that, and that was yummy. Of course when it came time to go to sleep at 11pm, I couldn't, and was up until around 2. It's very frustrating. I just lay there and think and have imaginary conversations, and the whole thing is just bad. Your dad got up early to go fishing when it was still dark outside. Now he's back and napping, and I'm trying to get some work done.
I'm almost 17 weeks pregnant which is almost halfway there. 23 weeks left. It doesn't sound like much. I know things are only going to get harder with sleeping, heartburn, etc. So I'm kind of looking forward to it ending. I don't want to wish it away, though, so I'm trying to stay positive, and enjoy the peacefulness and miracle of you growing inside of me.
I just need a good night's sleep and I'll feel better. We're listening to trance music to stay awake. ATB and Tiesto and some mixes on youtube. It's helping. I think this is the first time we've listened to trance music together. I hope you like it!
Love,
mom
Friday, September 10, 2010
My skill of holding two seemingly contradictory thoughts at one time...
Hey Baby T...
I'm feeling a little bit melancholic right now. Maybe it's hormones. I don't know. Last night we got rid of the elliptical machine, so the room that will be your nursery is really roomy now. When your dad was taking it apart before the people came to pick it up, I started crying. Change is really hard for me. I'm a Taurus, that's my excuse. For a long time, change was my life. From 1996 to 2005 I lived in fourteen places. In four states (not counting the state of confusion) and two countries. Change was the constant. I could remember what year it was by where I lived. 1998 was Knoxville. 1999 was LA. 2000 was Barnet and Highgate in London. 2001 was Muswell Hill and Finsbury Park. 2002 was back at home. 2003 was NYC. 2004 was Nashville. And then I moved back to LA and met your dad and settled down, and I've been in the same house for three years now, and I'm forgetting what year it is, and when Obama was elected. All this domesticity isn't natural to me.
But that aside, last night when we got rid of the elliptical, it became really real to me that you're coming and that we need to get ready. This was the first thing we did to really get ready for you. Up till now it's been mostly theoretical. Now there's an empty space where there will most likely be a changing table or something, and I'm going to be taking more walks around the lake because I don't have an elliptical.
I know that sounds really selfish. Of course I'll trade an elliptical for a baby. Obviously. But I guess the thing is that I've become so comfortable in my life, and it's going to get seriously shaken up in a few months. I won't be able to just go off to London for a long weekend anymore (though, thank heavens, I am working one in in October - to stock up on my products from Boots and take early-morning mystical pictures of the bridges over the Cam - I can't wait to take you to London before you're even born! You'll get to hear Anna Louisa and Sandor sing songs to you so you'll recognize them when you meet them after you're born).
So last night I was sad about the elliptical and this giant empty space where something baby-related will be featured. Tonight I found my first mp3 player - it holds like 16 songs, and I loaded it with music I like to listen to when walking to work in NYC. There's an eclectic mix - some of the Rutter Requiem, the Spice Girls (??), David Gray, a little Afro-Portuguese jazz, Blondie, etc. I had it all timed perfectly with my walk. I would usually make it through all the songs, depending on when I hit the red lights, and listening to it now takes me back on those walks. It's David Gray and I'm walking past the K-Mart on 34th street by Madison Square Garden. Crowded House (everywhere you go you always take the weather with you) and I'm walking through the construction tunnel outside the empire state building.
And I guess until now there's always been this idea in my head that I could go back to that if I really wanted to. I could have that life again, if I wanted it. It might mean convincing J that he really wants to live in Murray Hill, but it wasn't outside of the realm of possibility that I could load up my mp3 player, grab a bagel from the cart on the corner, and walk and eat, and then stop at Dunkin Donuts for a hot chocolate to warm me up halfway through my 45-minute walk to work.
But I'm never going to be that person again. I could do the same actions, but it wouldn't be the same because I'd be a different person. It's true that you really can't ever go back. And, not for the first time, I'm being reminded of that, and for someone who hates change, it sucks. After February, there will never be another day of my life that you aren't my first thought when I wake up, and my last thought when I go to bed, no matter what I do and where I go.
I'm going to learn about worlds previously unknown to me, like Dora the Explorer. I will become obsessed with departments in Target that I don't even realize exist right now. Like what's actually in the baby aisles, anyway? I'm going to find that out, pretty soon. And you can't ever un-know something once you know it. I'm going to be a person who knows about Babies R Us and sizes of children's clothes. I will re-learn algebra to help you with your homework. I will go to parent-teacher conferences and discuss your skills in saying your times tables. I will sit through Christmas pageants. I will bake cookies for bake sales. So help me, I will clap at talent shows.
On the upside, I will have a compelling reason to follow my dreams and my spirit; to show you how to do it, and be a role model. So you'll be proud of your mom, and so that you'll see how to take risks, get knocked down, and get back up and do it again. You will pretty much be the reason I do anything, even breathe. Not in some kind of weird overposessive way, but simply because in a very literal sense, you are me and I am you, and my life will be about providing for, and nurturing you, and providing you with an environment that encourages you to know yourself, know your bliss, and follow it. And the best way to do that for you is to do it for myself.
I am reminded of an e.e. cummings poem I found once, years ago. At the time I thought it was ridiculously romantic, and wanted to give it to a boy I had a crush on. But now I see the true power and beauty of the words...
losing through you what seemed myself,i find
selves unimaginably mine;beyond
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears
yours is the light by which my spirit's born:
So I'm kind of melancholy tonight. It's not because I'm not excited to have you. But because my world is about to be rocked in ways I can't even imagine right now, and I wish I could prepare more. Fasten my seat belt, and hold on, I guess...
I'm feeling a little bit melancholic right now. Maybe it's hormones. I don't know. Last night we got rid of the elliptical machine, so the room that will be your nursery is really roomy now. When your dad was taking it apart before the people came to pick it up, I started crying. Change is really hard for me. I'm a Taurus, that's my excuse. For a long time, change was my life. From 1996 to 2005 I lived in fourteen places. In four states (not counting the state of confusion) and two countries. Change was the constant. I could remember what year it was by where I lived. 1998 was Knoxville. 1999 was LA. 2000 was Barnet and Highgate in London. 2001 was Muswell Hill and Finsbury Park. 2002 was back at home. 2003 was NYC. 2004 was Nashville. And then I moved back to LA and met your dad and settled down, and I've been in the same house for three years now, and I'm forgetting what year it is, and when Obama was elected. All this domesticity isn't natural to me.
But that aside, last night when we got rid of the elliptical, it became really real to me that you're coming and that we need to get ready. This was the first thing we did to really get ready for you. Up till now it's been mostly theoretical. Now there's an empty space where there will most likely be a changing table or something, and I'm going to be taking more walks around the lake because I don't have an elliptical.
I know that sounds really selfish. Of course I'll trade an elliptical for a baby. Obviously. But I guess the thing is that I've become so comfortable in my life, and it's going to get seriously shaken up in a few months. I won't be able to just go off to London for a long weekend anymore (though, thank heavens, I am working one in in October - to stock up on my products from Boots and take early-morning mystical pictures of the bridges over the Cam - I can't wait to take you to London before you're even born! You'll get to hear Anna Louisa and Sandor sing songs to you so you'll recognize them when you meet them after you're born).
So last night I was sad about the elliptical and this giant empty space where something baby-related will be featured. Tonight I found my first mp3 player - it holds like 16 songs, and I loaded it with music I like to listen to when walking to work in NYC. There's an eclectic mix - some of the Rutter Requiem, the Spice Girls (??), David Gray, a little Afro-Portuguese jazz, Blondie, etc. I had it all timed perfectly with my walk. I would usually make it through all the songs, depending on when I hit the red lights, and listening to it now takes me back on those walks. It's David Gray and I'm walking past the K-Mart on 34th street by Madison Square Garden. Crowded House (everywhere you go you always take the weather with you) and I'm walking through the construction tunnel outside the empire state building.
And I guess until now there's always been this idea in my head that I could go back to that if I really wanted to. I could have that life again, if I wanted it. It might mean convincing J that he really wants to live in Murray Hill, but it wasn't outside of the realm of possibility that I could load up my mp3 player, grab a bagel from the cart on the corner, and walk and eat, and then stop at Dunkin Donuts for a hot chocolate to warm me up halfway through my 45-minute walk to work.
But I'm never going to be that person again. I could do the same actions, but it wouldn't be the same because I'd be a different person. It's true that you really can't ever go back. And, not for the first time, I'm being reminded of that, and for someone who hates change, it sucks. After February, there will never be another day of my life that you aren't my first thought when I wake up, and my last thought when I go to bed, no matter what I do and where I go.
I'm going to learn about worlds previously unknown to me, like Dora the Explorer. I will become obsessed with departments in Target that I don't even realize exist right now. Like what's actually in the baby aisles, anyway? I'm going to find that out, pretty soon. And you can't ever un-know something once you know it. I'm going to be a person who knows about Babies R Us and sizes of children's clothes. I will re-learn algebra to help you with your homework. I will go to parent-teacher conferences and discuss your skills in saying your times tables. I will sit through Christmas pageants. I will bake cookies for bake sales. So help me, I will clap at talent shows.
On the upside, I will have a compelling reason to follow my dreams and my spirit; to show you how to do it, and be a role model. So you'll be proud of your mom, and so that you'll see how to take risks, get knocked down, and get back up and do it again. You will pretty much be the reason I do anything, even breathe. Not in some kind of weird overposessive way, but simply because in a very literal sense, you are me and I am you, and my life will be about providing for, and nurturing you, and providing you with an environment that encourages you to know yourself, know your bliss, and follow it. And the best way to do that for you is to do it for myself.
I am reminded of an e.e. cummings poem I found once, years ago. At the time I thought it was ridiculously romantic, and wanted to give it to a boy I had a crush on. But now I see the true power and beauty of the words...
losing through you what seemed myself,i find
selves unimaginably mine;beyond
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears
yours is the light by which my spirit's born:
So I'm kind of melancholy tonight. It's not because I'm not excited to have you. But because my world is about to be rocked in ways I can't even imagine right now, and I wish I could prepare more. Fasten my seat belt, and hold on, I guess...
Sunday, September 5, 2010
3 Day Weekends
Hiya Charlie! I know I haven't written you a letter in a while - we've been crazy-busy this week. I had to go up to San Mateo for work, and because flying makes me a little nauseated these days, I drove, and your dad decided to come along. He hung out with friends of his in San Jose, which was fun. We left on Monday and came back late on Wednesday night - like midnight. Anyway, then Thursday was busy, and then Friday was Date Night, and here we are at a three day weekend. I think every weekend should be a three day weekend. The French are on to something with their 32 hour work weeks.
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of puttering around - I'm getting rid of more stuff, but this time it's on ebay. So that's been fun. And I'm listing a lot of books on Amazon.com to sell. Need to get rid of all this stuff so you can have an uncluttered home to come home to. It feels very freeing. The only thing I'm a little upset about getting rid of is the elliptical. Your dad and I had so much fun trying to get it into our little car - well, it seems like fun now - it wasn't fun then, when Costco had closed, and we were in the parking lot tearing apart the packaging trying to make parts fit in the trunk, and knowing that we couldn't go back in and return it if it didn't fit because we'd torn up the packaging. We bought it a day or two before the kittens were born, with our stimulus checks that President Bush decided to give everyone when the economy started going south. I use it a lot - watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report on my computer while using it. But we just don't have the room for it anymore. Even if we were able to get it out of the nursery, where would we put it? It's huge. It's gigantic. There's nowhere that it will fit in the house. I don't know. I'm still thinking about it.
Anyway, we also went to the lake yesterday, swimming for probably the last time this year. Which made me think that the next time I go swimming in the lake, it will probably be with you. That will be so much fun! We'll have tons of fun at the lake together, playing in the sand and splashing in the water. Man, it will be a blast. So we have that to look forward to next summer. I know you won't be able to do much yet next summer, but you'll probably enjoy sitting in the sand anyway. And maybe you'll like to touch the water. Who knows. We'll see.
Your dad and I also went to church this morning. I really think I've found a good church for you to be born into. It's Episcopalian, and they really embody everything that I think Jesus talks about in the Bible. They pray for good stewardship of the earth, and they're hip with gay people, and they're not protesting mosques, and they don't talk about fire and brimstone. Plus the priest is a woman. I think it will be a very good place for you to get to know religion.
We're making lots of decisions for, and about you, and you aren't even here yet. I guess that's what being a parent is about, huh?
Love,
mom
Anyway, I've been doing a lot of puttering around - I'm getting rid of more stuff, but this time it's on ebay. So that's been fun. And I'm listing a lot of books on Amazon.com to sell. Need to get rid of all this stuff so you can have an uncluttered home to come home to. It feels very freeing. The only thing I'm a little upset about getting rid of is the elliptical. Your dad and I had so much fun trying to get it into our little car - well, it seems like fun now - it wasn't fun then, when Costco had closed, and we were in the parking lot tearing apart the packaging trying to make parts fit in the trunk, and knowing that we couldn't go back in and return it if it didn't fit because we'd torn up the packaging. We bought it a day or two before the kittens were born, with our stimulus checks that President Bush decided to give everyone when the economy started going south. I use it a lot - watch The Daily Show and Colbert Report on my computer while using it. But we just don't have the room for it anymore. Even if we were able to get it out of the nursery, where would we put it? It's huge. It's gigantic. There's nowhere that it will fit in the house. I don't know. I'm still thinking about it.
Anyway, we also went to the lake yesterday, swimming for probably the last time this year. Which made me think that the next time I go swimming in the lake, it will probably be with you. That will be so much fun! We'll have tons of fun at the lake together, playing in the sand and splashing in the water. Man, it will be a blast. So we have that to look forward to next summer. I know you won't be able to do much yet next summer, but you'll probably enjoy sitting in the sand anyway. And maybe you'll like to touch the water. Who knows. We'll see.
Your dad and I also went to church this morning. I really think I've found a good church for you to be born into. It's Episcopalian, and they really embody everything that I think Jesus talks about in the Bible. They pray for good stewardship of the earth, and they're hip with gay people, and they're not protesting mosques, and they don't talk about fire and brimstone. Plus the priest is a woman. I think it will be a very good place for you to get to know religion.
We're making lots of decisions for, and about you, and you aren't even here yet. I guess that's what being a parent is about, huh?
Love,
mom
Monday, August 30, 2010
Yay for cooler weather!
Hey Baby T! So we're super-happy today. It's a Good Day. Mostly because the heat wave broke over the weekend. Yay! I get to wear long sleeves again and not feel like I'm melting. It's blissful! Yesterday, in celebration of the fall weather (it only got up to like 63 degrees all day), I decided to make something in the croc pot. I love the croc pot because it makes the whole house smell amazing. So we had chicken from the croc pot and it was amazing. Yummmmy.
Your dad went fishing in the morning, which was fun for him. He got super sunburned, though. Poor thing. His face is all red except where his sunglasses were. Our neighbor Michael (he wants to be called Uncle Michael) was up for the weekend cutting down some trees, so your dad went fishing with him. Then he came over and I made them lunch.
In the afternoon we went to the carnival by the lake - Mountaineer Days, they call it. It's just a fair, though. It was too cold for a lot of people to be out, and I couldn't go on the rides because I'm pregnant with you, but it was fun anyway. Your dad went on the flying swing things. I was a little jealous because I love the flying swing things too, but it was fun to watch him, and honestly, even watching those rides made me queasy, so I wouldn't have been able to handle actually going on one, even if it was safe!
Last night it got really chilly and we still haven't lit the pilot light, so we just put on lots of blankets. It was tough getting out of bed this morning, but I love that - how warm and snuggly it is in the fall when it's chilly outside, but not quite enough to have the heater blasting, so we just cuddle up with cats and each other to stay warm, and argue about who should get out of bed first. Next year we'll have you to cuddle with. Yay!
Oh, I bought a halloween magazine, because I love fall, and they had costume ideas for babies. The cutest one was a little spider. You sew "legs" onto an outfit - basically stuffed socks sewn onto an outfit of the same color. It was so cute. Maybe next year you'll be a little spider for halloween. Man, I can't wait!
I guess that's it now. I'm feeling super good today because I slept the whole night and didn't wake up once. It was awesome! I guess you're always rested because you don't have to go to work. But you're doing lots of work growing, so I guess that's tiring.
Love,
mom
Your dad went fishing in the morning, which was fun for him. He got super sunburned, though. Poor thing. His face is all red except where his sunglasses were. Our neighbor Michael (he wants to be called Uncle Michael) was up for the weekend cutting down some trees, so your dad went fishing with him. Then he came over and I made them lunch.
In the afternoon we went to the carnival by the lake - Mountaineer Days, they call it. It's just a fair, though. It was too cold for a lot of people to be out, and I couldn't go on the rides because I'm pregnant with you, but it was fun anyway. Your dad went on the flying swing things. I was a little jealous because I love the flying swing things too, but it was fun to watch him, and honestly, even watching those rides made me queasy, so I wouldn't have been able to handle actually going on one, even if it was safe!
Last night it got really chilly and we still haven't lit the pilot light, so we just put on lots of blankets. It was tough getting out of bed this morning, but I love that - how warm and snuggly it is in the fall when it's chilly outside, but not quite enough to have the heater blasting, so we just cuddle up with cats and each other to stay warm, and argue about who should get out of bed first. Next year we'll have you to cuddle with. Yay!
Oh, I bought a halloween magazine, because I love fall, and they had costume ideas for babies. The cutest one was a little spider. You sew "legs" onto an outfit - basically stuffed socks sewn onto an outfit of the same color. It was so cute. Maybe next year you'll be a little spider for halloween. Man, I can't wait!
I guess that's it now. I'm feeling super good today because I slept the whole night and didn't wake up once. It was awesome! I guess you're always rested because you don't have to go to work. But you're doing lots of work growing, so I guess that's tiring.
Love,
mom
Friday, August 27, 2010
Random stuff of the day
Hey Baby T! Guess what! We got to hear your heartbeat yesterday at the doctor's office! I HAVE to tell you about the place you're going to be born because it is one of the coolest spots in all of Southern California, I'm convinced of it. So I found our doctor, Dr. Johnson, about four years ago when your dad and I were living in downtown LA near Dodger Stadium. It was a very cool neighborhood at the top of Chavez Ravine (you will know what that means when you are old enough to be a Dodger fan, which, probably according to your dad, will be when you're about three days old). It hadn't been "gentrified" yet (you'll know what that means when you're a little older). We had this awesome view of downtown LA and could see all the way out to the beach, and were still close enough to hear the Dodgers across the hill.
Anyway, Dr. Johnson is at White Memorial, which is near Boyle Heights, a part of town where the notorious 1950's gangster Micky Cohen grew up, incidentally. So it's got a lot of personality, which we love, because now we live in a gorgeous part of the world, up in our mountains, but it's kind of bland. Don't get me wrong, we love it up here, too, but we miss all the buzz and all the different types of people you would see. Like the old ladies wearing stripes with polka dots and giant sunhats talking to themselves in a language that I've never heard of before. Dang, I miss that!
So we're staying with Dr. J because I feel very comfortable with him, and your dad likes him too. I actually really love him. Three years ago he did a little surgery on me and the last thing I can remember, before the anesthetic knocked me out, was that he was rubbing my feet. That did it for me. I decided as I was drifting off into dreamland that he would deliver you when you were ready to show up.
Dr J's office is in the medical building across from the hospital. Down the street there's a strip mall with a Subway, donut shop, t-shirt store that will sell you t-shirts for a dollar, a car parts store, and laundromat. From the windows in the exam rooms, you can look out and see a cheap Chinese fast-food joint, and a muffler place. So if we wanted, when you were born, we could get a new muffler at the same time, I guess. From the next floor up, above the trees, you can see almost all of downtown LA. The maternity ward is on a high floor, so you get awesome views. It's such a cool mix of everything. Dr. J says that sometimes he looks out the window and sees the muffler guys, with a huge queue of people waiting, just surfing the internet. I think that's pretty funny.
Anyway, that's our doctor office. Dr. J is pretty awesome because I'm not the only one who travels from far away to see him. He has other Inland Empire patients, and somebody even came from Ventura to have him deliver their baby. So you're in good hands.
I made him laugh yesterday when he was doing the doppler thingy. He found your heartbeat, but it was slightly slower than we had expected. It was still pretty fast, but it just wasn't the galloping horses sound that it had been before. Anyway, we listened for a few seconds, and then he stopped, and I said "are you sure that was the baby's heartbeat and not just mine?" And he looked at me like he thought I was kidding and said "hmmm....maybe I should go back to medical school and take a refresher course just to ease your mind??" Then he laughed at me a little bit. I think he thinks I'm a little silly. Also, your dad told him I bought the home doppler, and he just rolled his eyes like it was the funniest thing in the world. He told me he gives me his blessing to use it, but ONLY if I promise not to freak out when I can't find your heartbeat with it. His machine is $500. Mine was $23. So I'm not supposed to freak out about it and call him crying if I can't find your heartbeat.
This morning something funny happened. I was outside sweeping the deck, and your dad was leaving the house, and he locked the door. I didn't notice it, and didn't even think about it until he'd left, but I was locked out. And we don't keep any extra keys around. So I had to take the screen off the living room window, and get myself through the window and down into the living room without landing on the tv/playstation/speakers that are right in front of the window. I managed to do it, but it was a little tough. Sorry if you got bumped around at all. It was a pretty funny experience, breaking into your own house.
Anyway, that's the news from here. In less than 6 months you'll be here with us. I'm freaking out a little bit about that time deadline now. There's so much to do! Well, I just keep telling myself that all a baby REALLY needs is a place to sleep and some food and some diapers and lots of love. So if things aren't absolutely perfect in your nursery when you arrive, we'll manage. Oh, and by the way, you're getting cloth diapers. We've decided. They're better for the environment, and way cheaper. The money we save will go into your college fund.
Oh, and yesterday you received your second baby outfit, from Neil and Kay in Amsterdam. It's a little supersoft tshirt that has grateful dead-like bears dancing across the front, and a little matching hat and booties. Yay for being a little hippie baby :)
Love,
mom
Anyway, Dr. Johnson is at White Memorial, which is near Boyle Heights, a part of town where the notorious 1950's gangster Micky Cohen grew up, incidentally. So it's got a lot of personality, which we love, because now we live in a gorgeous part of the world, up in our mountains, but it's kind of bland. Don't get me wrong, we love it up here, too, but we miss all the buzz and all the different types of people you would see. Like the old ladies wearing stripes with polka dots and giant sunhats talking to themselves in a language that I've never heard of before. Dang, I miss that!
So we're staying with Dr. J because I feel very comfortable with him, and your dad likes him too. I actually really love him. Three years ago he did a little surgery on me and the last thing I can remember, before the anesthetic knocked me out, was that he was rubbing my feet. That did it for me. I decided as I was drifting off into dreamland that he would deliver you when you were ready to show up.
Dr J's office is in the medical building across from the hospital. Down the street there's a strip mall with a Subway, donut shop, t-shirt store that will sell you t-shirts for a dollar, a car parts store, and laundromat. From the windows in the exam rooms, you can look out and see a cheap Chinese fast-food joint, and a muffler place. So if we wanted, when you were born, we could get a new muffler at the same time, I guess. From the next floor up, above the trees, you can see almost all of downtown LA. The maternity ward is on a high floor, so you get awesome views. It's such a cool mix of everything. Dr. J says that sometimes he looks out the window and sees the muffler guys, with a huge queue of people waiting, just surfing the internet. I think that's pretty funny.
Anyway, that's our doctor office. Dr. J is pretty awesome because I'm not the only one who travels from far away to see him. He has other Inland Empire patients, and somebody even came from Ventura to have him deliver their baby. So you're in good hands.
I made him laugh yesterday when he was doing the doppler thingy. He found your heartbeat, but it was slightly slower than we had expected. It was still pretty fast, but it just wasn't the galloping horses sound that it had been before. Anyway, we listened for a few seconds, and then he stopped, and I said "are you sure that was the baby's heartbeat and not just mine?" And he looked at me like he thought I was kidding and said "hmmm....maybe I should go back to medical school and take a refresher course just to ease your mind??" Then he laughed at me a little bit. I think he thinks I'm a little silly. Also, your dad told him I bought the home doppler, and he just rolled his eyes like it was the funniest thing in the world. He told me he gives me his blessing to use it, but ONLY if I promise not to freak out when I can't find your heartbeat with it. His machine is $500. Mine was $23. So I'm not supposed to freak out about it and call him crying if I can't find your heartbeat.
This morning something funny happened. I was outside sweeping the deck, and your dad was leaving the house, and he locked the door. I didn't notice it, and didn't even think about it until he'd left, but I was locked out. And we don't keep any extra keys around. So I had to take the screen off the living room window, and get myself through the window and down into the living room without landing on the tv/playstation/speakers that are right in front of the window. I managed to do it, but it was a little tough. Sorry if you got bumped around at all. It was a pretty funny experience, breaking into your own house.
Anyway, that's the news from here. In less than 6 months you'll be here with us. I'm freaking out a little bit about that time deadline now. There's so much to do! Well, I just keep telling myself that all a baby REALLY needs is a place to sleep and some food and some diapers and lots of love. So if things aren't absolutely perfect in your nursery when you arrive, we'll manage. Oh, and by the way, you're getting cloth diapers. We've decided. They're better for the environment, and way cheaper. The money we save will go into your college fund.
Oh, and yesterday you received your second baby outfit, from Neil and Kay in Amsterdam. It's a little supersoft tshirt that has grateful dead-like bears dancing across the front, and a little matching hat and booties. Yay for being a little hippie baby :)
Love,
mom
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
doppler fun
Hey Charlie! So the at home doppler came today, but I can't hear much. I think it's still too early. I am pretty sure I caught your heartbeat a few times, which was awesome, but I couldn't be sure. I'm going to try again in a few days and see if I can catch it then. Maybe you can, you know, get your heart to beat a little louder? If you can control that stuff?
We had Subway for lunch. I thought I was doing a good thing getting juice instead of soda, but it turns out the juice has high fructose corn syrup too. Does EVERYTHING have high fructose corn syrup?? Sheesh. I'm sure the juice is still healthier.
It's been really hot, which isn't comfortable for me at all. Plus, most of the maternity clothes I bought are for fall and winter, so I am kind of suffering at the moment. I sure hope it cools off soon. My tummy is getting bigger every day, it seems. It's getting pretty pronounced, and obvious that it's pregnancy now. I'm excited for it to really be obvious and not just look like I ate too much at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
I'm learning how to sleep on my side, so that's becoming easier. Apparently you're growing a lot this week, too. You've got a covering of hair, called lanugo or something like that, which is protecting your skin and keeping you warm while you're hanging out there in the amniotic fluid. Apparently as you get some fat stored up, closer to your birth, the lanugo will fall away. That's pretty nuts.
Well, I hope you're having fun learning how to use your arms and legs and everything. I'm doing what I can to make sure you're healthy and happy.
Love,
mom
We had Subway for lunch. I thought I was doing a good thing getting juice instead of soda, but it turns out the juice has high fructose corn syrup too. Does EVERYTHING have high fructose corn syrup?? Sheesh. I'm sure the juice is still healthier.
It's been really hot, which isn't comfortable for me at all. Plus, most of the maternity clothes I bought are for fall and winter, so I am kind of suffering at the moment. I sure hope it cools off soon. My tummy is getting bigger every day, it seems. It's getting pretty pronounced, and obvious that it's pregnancy now. I'm excited for it to really be obvious and not just look like I ate too much at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
I'm learning how to sleep on my side, so that's becoming easier. Apparently you're growing a lot this week, too. You've got a covering of hair, called lanugo or something like that, which is protecting your skin and keeping you warm while you're hanging out there in the amniotic fluid. Apparently as you get some fat stored up, closer to your birth, the lanugo will fall away. That's pretty nuts.
Well, I hope you're having fun learning how to use your arms and legs and everything. I'm doing what I can to make sure you're healthy and happy.
Love,
mom
Monday, August 23, 2010
Busy weekend
Hey Charlie!
Guess what! You had your first taste of greasy (ie not homemade) pizza over the weekend! Your dad and I were out, and we were hungry, and it was either going into the grocery store to get something healthy, or it was pizza. Guess what I chose...mmmm....greasy pizza....yummmmm. Sorry if you didn't like it too much. Your mama loved it!
So yesterday was the five year anniversary of my first date with your dad. We had a fun day together, reminiscing about when we first met. And now we're going to have you! Yay!! At the pizza place there was an arcade and I kicked his butt in air hokey (ok, so the last winning shot was a little bit unfair - the waitress had brought our food to the table, and he looked over to let her know that we saw, and when he wasn't looking, I just hammered the puck right into the goal, one shot, beautiful). And then he won me a stuffed cow in one of those "make the claw get the stuffed animal" games.
Three days till my appointment with the doctor. I sure hope I get to see you again! And my at-home doppler machine should be coming soon, too. This morning it was in Chino according to the USPS. Maybe tomorrow. Then I get to hear your heartbeat whenever I want. Everybody keeps teasing me about getting a doppler machine, but seriously. It was only $23. I've spent $23 on stupider stuff before.
We had a stand at the flea market on Saturday and got rid of loads of stuff. I made $175 and we got rid of about 30 garbage bags full of stuff. The stuff that didn't sell went to the thrift store. Now we'll have some room to start making your nursery and stuff.
I'm making some chicken soup for dinner. The house smells really yummy with the chicken stock cooking. And we're listening to jim brickman piano music, because it seems appropriate for a monday.
According to the What to Expect book, you're doing a lot of aerobics this week - learning how to stretch out your arms and legs and everything. You're stretching out my belly, that's for sure. I keep putting the Burt's Bees Mama Bee stuff on my belly but I don't know if it's working. But you're growing, and that's a good thing. I'll trade a stretched out tummy for a growing baby :)
Love,
mom
Guess what! You had your first taste of greasy (ie not homemade) pizza over the weekend! Your dad and I were out, and we were hungry, and it was either going into the grocery store to get something healthy, or it was pizza. Guess what I chose...mmmm....greasy pizza....yummmmm. Sorry if you didn't like it too much. Your mama loved it!
So yesterday was the five year anniversary of my first date with your dad. We had a fun day together, reminiscing about when we first met. And now we're going to have you! Yay!! At the pizza place there was an arcade and I kicked his butt in air hokey (ok, so the last winning shot was a little bit unfair - the waitress had brought our food to the table, and he looked over to let her know that we saw, and when he wasn't looking, I just hammered the puck right into the goal, one shot, beautiful). And then he won me a stuffed cow in one of those "make the claw get the stuffed animal" games.
Three days till my appointment with the doctor. I sure hope I get to see you again! And my at-home doppler machine should be coming soon, too. This morning it was in Chino according to the USPS. Maybe tomorrow. Then I get to hear your heartbeat whenever I want. Everybody keeps teasing me about getting a doppler machine, but seriously. It was only $23. I've spent $23 on stupider stuff before.
We had a stand at the flea market on Saturday and got rid of loads of stuff. I made $175 and we got rid of about 30 garbage bags full of stuff. The stuff that didn't sell went to the thrift store. Now we'll have some room to start making your nursery and stuff.
I'm making some chicken soup for dinner. The house smells really yummy with the chicken stock cooking. And we're listening to jim brickman piano music, because it seems appropriate for a monday.
According to the What to Expect book, you're doing a lot of aerobics this week - learning how to stretch out your arms and legs and everything. You're stretching out my belly, that's for sure. I keep putting the Burt's Bees Mama Bee stuff on my belly but I don't know if it's working. But you're growing, and that's a good thing. I'll trade a stretched out tummy for a growing baby :)
Love,
mom
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Leg cramp
Hey Charlie Cheltenham! Man, did I have a nasty cramp in my leg/hip yesterday. It was AWFUL. I called the doctor and asked them whether it was safe to take anything, and they said tylenol, so I asked your dad to go get me some children's tylenol. I took hardly any - just enough to make the shooting pangs go away. Man, was it bad. I had a hard time sleeping last night because it kept waking me up. I have no idea how it started or what caused it. But there you go. I hope the children's tylenol hasn't hurt you at all. The dosage was 2 tablets for kids up to 50 pounds. I took 3 tablets all day, so hardly anything, but I just feel bad putting stuff like that into our system. It still hurts today, but it's not so bad, so I'm going to try to avoid taking anything at all.
The cats are all having fun chasing birds - they run through the house seeing the birds out the windows, and then get frustrated when they can't get outside. You are going to have so much fun with all our cats. I can't wait to see you playing, and napping with them. It's going to be some kind of adorable!
I'd better go - I have a long day and lots to do. But I think about you all the time, anyway, so I'll keep talking to you :)
love,
mom
The cats are all having fun chasing birds - they run through the house seeing the birds out the windows, and then get frustrated when they can't get outside. You are going to have so much fun with all our cats. I can't wait to see you playing, and napping with them. It's going to be some kind of adorable!
I'd better go - I have a long day and lots to do. But I think about you all the time, anyway, so I'll keep talking to you :)
love,
mom
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
First day of the second trimester!
Hey Charlie Cheltenham! We've made it this far, you and me. I'm taking my prenatal, you're growing bones. I'm eating less sugar, you're getting muscles. You started from two cells, and now you're the size of a peach! All in 3 months time! That's craziness!
I'm feeling great today. In fact, the current freakout I'm having is that I don't really feel pregnant. I can't wait for my appointment next Thursday when hopefully I'll get to see you again! I did something your dad is teasing me about now. I bought an at-home doppler on amazon. It was only like $23 (which I know sounds really cheap, but the reviews were really good). Your dad is teasing me because we have this thing about cheapening special things. Like, we LOVE Formula 1 because it's special - there are only like 17 races a year and each one is such a huge deal. We have started to really hate nascar because it's EVERY FREAKING WEEK and goes on for like 8 hours. So I told your dad I bought the doppler, and he says "you know, you can get a dvd of the entire nascar season up till now, and you'd better start watching soon because I think there's still like 20 races left..." He thinks that the experience is more special if we wait for the doctor appointments each month. So I respond that he just doesn't have to listen to it. If I want to bond with you and get peace of mind by listening to your heartbeat, that's my right as a mother. If he wants to keep it just to doctors appointments, that's his right too. But you know what? As soon as it arrives and I can hear your heartbeat, he's going to be all over it. I know he is. I'm still trying to decide how much humble pie I'll make him eat before letting him listen :)
So I just finished reading a Time Traveler's Guide to Medieval England, which was a really great "travel" book all about going to 14th century England. It took me a while to get through it because I have pregnant-brain and need to read everything 4 times before I retain it, but I enjoyed it, so it was all good. We're going to listen to some Bach this morning. Bach always makes me productive.
Apparently you're coordinated enough to be sucking your thumb this week. That is so cool. Hope you're having fun in there!
Love,
mom
I'm feeling great today. In fact, the current freakout I'm having is that I don't really feel pregnant. I can't wait for my appointment next Thursday when hopefully I'll get to see you again! I did something your dad is teasing me about now. I bought an at-home doppler on amazon. It was only like $23 (which I know sounds really cheap, but the reviews were really good). Your dad is teasing me because we have this thing about cheapening special things. Like, we LOVE Formula 1 because it's special - there are only like 17 races a year and each one is such a huge deal. We have started to really hate nascar because it's EVERY FREAKING WEEK and goes on for like 8 hours. So I told your dad I bought the doppler, and he says "you know, you can get a dvd of the entire nascar season up till now, and you'd better start watching soon because I think there's still like 20 races left..." He thinks that the experience is more special if we wait for the doctor appointments each month. So I respond that he just doesn't have to listen to it. If I want to bond with you and get peace of mind by listening to your heartbeat, that's my right as a mother. If he wants to keep it just to doctors appointments, that's his right too. But you know what? As soon as it arrives and I can hear your heartbeat, he's going to be all over it. I know he is. I'm still trying to decide how much humble pie I'll make him eat before letting him listen :)
So I just finished reading a Time Traveler's Guide to Medieval England, which was a really great "travel" book all about going to 14th century England. It took me a while to get through it because I have pregnant-brain and need to read everything 4 times before I retain it, but I enjoyed it, so it was all good. We're going to listen to some Bach this morning. Bach always makes me productive.
Apparently you're coordinated enough to be sucking your thumb this week. That is so cool. Hope you're having fun in there!
Love,
mom
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
last day of the first trimester!
Hey Charlie Cheltenham!
Guess what! You're almost 3 months old! Woohooo! This is quite a milestone for a little guy/girl like yourself, and for mama, too, because mama's going to get some energy back. And the house won't be a disaster area anymore because I'll have the energy and inclination to clean!
PLUS after this weekend, when we go to the flea market and get rid of all our junk, the house will be so empty and it will be much less work to keep up with it. I can't WAIT! I'm furiously going through all my stuff really making sure that I want to keep what I'm keeping. And anything that doesn't sell is getting dropped off at the thrift store on the way home, so it's not coming back in the house. Seriously, Charlie, there is no reason why I need to have 8 comforters. We are two people with one bed, and occasionally get guests. That should mean, really, three, at the most. One for us, one for us when the other's in the laundry, and one for the occasional guest. But I have 8. Count them, 8 comforters. Why? Because I go to Target and I think how pretty they would look and how I would read in bed with them and be so happy, and of course I need one for Christmas and one for Valentine's Day, and it's all a big pile of crap. Sorry for using that word around you. But it seriously is. Charlie, you are going to be raised with minimalism. We are going to travel and live in lots of different places and have lots of adventures, and you can't do that with 8 freaking comforters!!! So your mama is selling like five of them. I'm so glad I'm learning this now, before I've bought a bunch of crap for you that you don't need!!
Oh, and your dad and I played the Name Game going down to San Diego the other day. We've talked about a boy name, and a girl name that we can agree on. If you're a girl, you may well be Hannah Skye. Skye like the isle of Skye in the UK. And Hannah because we love that name. That sounds pretty, huh? And there's a lot you can do with it. You could be a poet with it, or a CEO. Lots of options. Plus since I'm Heather, dad could get a tattoo of H squared or something clever like that. And if you're a boy, you might be Arthur Wells. Wells like Wells Cathedral, and Arthur which is both cute and kingly at once. Little Arthur Teysko. You could totally be a punk rock guy with that. Or you could be a CEO too. Or a poet. Or whatever you want. Arthur could take you a lot of places, I think. I really want to give you a name that's distinctive and memorable, but not necessarily too hippie (as Cartman on South Park says, "I hate hippies!"... Actually, I really don't, I just love that line).
We're still talking about it, so don't start practicing your signature yet, but I just wanted to keep you in the loop of what we're discussing for you. You're such a big part of our life, already. We can't wait till we get to meet you!
Love,
mom
Guess what! You're almost 3 months old! Woohooo! This is quite a milestone for a little guy/girl like yourself, and for mama, too, because mama's going to get some energy back. And the house won't be a disaster area anymore because I'll have the energy and inclination to clean!
PLUS after this weekend, when we go to the flea market and get rid of all our junk, the house will be so empty and it will be much less work to keep up with it. I can't WAIT! I'm furiously going through all my stuff really making sure that I want to keep what I'm keeping. And anything that doesn't sell is getting dropped off at the thrift store on the way home, so it's not coming back in the house. Seriously, Charlie, there is no reason why I need to have 8 comforters. We are two people with one bed, and occasionally get guests. That should mean, really, three, at the most. One for us, one for us when the other's in the laundry, and one for the occasional guest. But I have 8. Count them, 8 comforters. Why? Because I go to Target and I think how pretty they would look and how I would read in bed with them and be so happy, and of course I need one for Christmas and one for Valentine's Day, and it's all a big pile of crap. Sorry for using that word around you. But it seriously is. Charlie, you are going to be raised with minimalism. We are going to travel and live in lots of different places and have lots of adventures, and you can't do that with 8 freaking comforters!!! So your mama is selling like five of them. I'm so glad I'm learning this now, before I've bought a bunch of crap for you that you don't need!!
Oh, and your dad and I played the Name Game going down to San Diego the other day. We've talked about a boy name, and a girl name that we can agree on. If you're a girl, you may well be Hannah Skye. Skye like the isle of Skye in the UK. And Hannah because we love that name. That sounds pretty, huh? And there's a lot you can do with it. You could be a poet with it, or a CEO. Lots of options. Plus since I'm Heather, dad could get a tattoo of H squared or something clever like that. And if you're a boy, you might be Arthur Wells. Wells like Wells Cathedral, and Arthur which is both cute and kingly at once. Little Arthur Teysko. You could totally be a punk rock guy with that. Or you could be a CEO too. Or a poet. Or whatever you want. Arthur could take you a lot of places, I think. I really want to give you a name that's distinctive and memorable, but not necessarily too hippie (as Cartman on South Park says, "I hate hippies!"... Actually, I really don't, I just love that line).
We're still talking about it, so don't start practicing your signature yet, but I just wanted to keep you in the loop of what we're discussing for you. You're such a big part of our life, already. We can't wait till we get to meet you!
Love,
mom
Monday, August 16, 2010
Are you moving around inside of me now?
Hey Charlie! So I feel this weird fluttering around in my belly the past few days... is that you? It's still too early for me to know for sure, but it sure is fun thinking that you're swimming around in there.
Your mama's gray hairs are showing now - all six of them. I had colored my hair right around the time I got pregnant, so I had been doing all right until the last couple of weeks. They're right there on the top of my head in my part. I want to pluck them, but your dad says that if I do, five will grow back in their place. I know there are safe dyes to use and stuff, and I might check that out, but not for a while, if at all. I don't think I really want to be throwing lots of chemicals your way just so I can not have gray hair. I think I'm going to pluck them. I'm also wearing headbands. Lots of headbands.
It's getting hot again, which I hate. I feel like I'm about to explode. It's awful! I'll be so glad when fall officially arrives.
Your dad's been busy since Friday putting the new sink in the bathroom. He had to make a couple of trips to Ace and Home Depot, but it's finally coming along. I'm supervising. I'm also the chief cinematographer. That means I'm taping it all. We're going to start a folder of videos called "Getting Ready for Baby."
And last night we went down to San Diego because your Grandma Teysko was finishing up her Landmark Forum. When you're 8 you'll get to do Landmark too. Fun!
We're listening to Handel's Messiah. It's not a holiday for it - I just like it :)
Your mama's gray hairs are showing now - all six of them. I had colored my hair right around the time I got pregnant, so I had been doing all right until the last couple of weeks. They're right there on the top of my head in my part. I want to pluck them, but your dad says that if I do, five will grow back in their place. I know there are safe dyes to use and stuff, and I might check that out, but not for a while, if at all. I don't think I really want to be throwing lots of chemicals your way just so I can not have gray hair. I think I'm going to pluck them. I'm also wearing headbands. Lots of headbands.
It's getting hot again, which I hate. I feel like I'm about to explode. It's awful! I'll be so glad when fall officially arrives.
Your dad's been busy since Friday putting the new sink in the bathroom. He had to make a couple of trips to Ace and Home Depot, but it's finally coming along. I'm supervising. I'm also the chief cinematographer. That means I'm taping it all. We're going to start a folder of videos called "Getting Ready for Baby."
And last night we went down to San Diego because your Grandma Teysko was finishing up her Landmark Forum. When you're 8 you'll get to do Landmark too. Fun!
We're listening to Handel's Messiah. It's not a holiday for it - I just like it :)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
More Clothes!
Hey Charlie Cheltenham!
According to usps.com, the clothes your mama ordered on Friday were processed through the sort facility in san bernardino at 3am, which means they will probably be in my post office today. HooRay! Dressing won't be so confronting now! I'm going to clear out all my regular clothes and box 'em up in the attic so I don't even have to look at them and lament not being able to wear them. And then, in 7 or 8 months, I'll take them down and it will be like getting new clothes all over again! Yay!
Plus, I have to say, this whole having-a-limited-wardrobe thing is quite freeing. I think I'm going to stick with it even after you're born. You know, believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I could fit all my important worldly goods into 3 suitcases. When I moved to England, I moved across the ocean with three suitcases. Three. And a carry on. And that even counted taking a bunch of cd's and stuff. Now I don't have cd's because everything's on my hard drive, so I don't even have that excuse. Yes, your mama would like to live a simpler life with less stuff. And not having a lot of clothes is a very good start. It would be nice to be able to open my closet doors and not have shoeboxes tumbling down on me.
I ate McDonald's yesterday. Sorry about that. It was the grilled chicken sandwich and a side salad, so it wasn't the worst thing on the menu, but it wasn't too good. Your dad and I were in a rush and I didn't have time to cook. Sorry :(
And I slept really well last night, though not long enough. But there's no such thing as long enough these days. I think 12 hours might be long enough. Maybe. But the little sleep I got was great. Hope you're feeling nice and rested in there. According to the What to Expect book, you'll be the size of a peach by the end of the week. Wow. You're growing!!
Last night Lisa and Helen called me Mama Teysko, and it felt weird. People are telling me I'm glowing now. Personally, I just think it's the new tinted moisturizer, but I'll take it :)
Love,
mom
According to usps.com, the clothes your mama ordered on Friday were processed through the sort facility in san bernardino at 3am, which means they will probably be in my post office today. HooRay! Dressing won't be so confronting now! I'm going to clear out all my regular clothes and box 'em up in the attic so I don't even have to look at them and lament not being able to wear them. And then, in 7 or 8 months, I'll take them down and it will be like getting new clothes all over again! Yay!
Plus, I have to say, this whole having-a-limited-wardrobe thing is quite freeing. I think I'm going to stick with it even after you're born. You know, believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I could fit all my important worldly goods into 3 suitcases. When I moved to England, I moved across the ocean with three suitcases. Three. And a carry on. And that even counted taking a bunch of cd's and stuff. Now I don't have cd's because everything's on my hard drive, so I don't even have that excuse. Yes, your mama would like to live a simpler life with less stuff. And not having a lot of clothes is a very good start. It would be nice to be able to open my closet doors and not have shoeboxes tumbling down on me.
I ate McDonald's yesterday. Sorry about that. It was the grilled chicken sandwich and a side salad, so it wasn't the worst thing on the menu, but it wasn't too good. Your dad and I were in a rush and I didn't have time to cook. Sorry :(
And I slept really well last night, though not long enough. But there's no such thing as long enough these days. I think 12 hours might be long enough. Maybe. But the little sleep I got was great. Hope you're feeling nice and rested in there. According to the What to Expect book, you'll be the size of a peach by the end of the week. Wow. You're growing!!
Last night Lisa and Helen called me Mama Teysko, and it felt weird. People are telling me I'm glowing now. Personally, I just think it's the new tinted moisturizer, but I'll take it :)
Love,
mom
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Pregnancy pants - ahhhhh!
Hey Charlie - guess what! Mama's wearing her first pair of pregnancy trousers, which came in the mail today. Ahhhhhh. How LOVELY it feels. Seriously, the makers of these full-belly support things are geniuses.
Hope you're comfy in there!
Love,
mom
Hope you're comfy in there!
Love,
mom
Monday, August 9, 2010
Dear Charlie Cheltenham - right now I'm listening to my baroque station on pandora - another cool invention that only came about a few years ago! - and there was just some great Paul O'Dette lute music on. I'm a big fan of the lute. I wonder what kind of music you'll like. Your dad plays the guitar. I play the piano, and fiddle around on the violin. When you get old enough, and if you're interested, you can take lessons in something. It's good to be able to read music and play an instrument. Once, in 8th grade I got a detention, but it was totally cool because I spent the entire time "practicing" a beethoven sonata on my desk - trying to tap out the fingering and stuff. Everybody else in detention was bored and wanted to talk, but I was just quietly tapping away on the desk, and when I got home that night, I had improved. So it was actually a good use of time.
I've been learning the pathetique sonata - more beethoven. Your dad is worried that it will make you moody. Like you'll come out and immediately demand paper to write your morose poetry that you've been thinking up while listening to all that angst inside me. I don't worry about that. My mom learned the moonlight sonata when she was pregnant with me, and it's just made me only slightly moody, so I'm pretty sure you'll be ok :)
Love,
mom
I've been learning the pathetique sonata - more beethoven. Your dad is worried that it will make you moody. Like you'll come out and immediately demand paper to write your morose poetry that you've been thinking up while listening to all that angst inside me. I don't worry about that. My mom learned the moonlight sonata when she was pregnant with me, and it's just made me only slightly moody, so I'm pretty sure you'll be ok :)
Love,
mom
The soundtrack today
Dear Charlie Cheltenham -
Today we are listening to The Cars. The Cars are an awesome band from the 80's. Someday you'll hear all about the 80's and Madonna and Cindy Lauper and neon jelly bracelets and Bon Jovi and really bad hair, and a time when Mtv actually played music.
And we're having greek yogurt and a ceasar salad for lunch. Earlier we had chocolate milk. I know I'm supposed to drink a lot of milk so your bones get strong, but I don't really like milk very much, so we're drinking chocolate milk a lot. Sorry for the extra sugar.
Oh, and the other thing is, I'm completely freaking out about everything. I've had a lot of cramps in my belly the past few days - nothing awful, just some pain from time to time when I switch positions or stand up or something. I think it's pretty normal - they say it comes because the ligaments in my belly are stretching to make room for the growing uterus. But the point is, I keep freaking out about everything. I've decided that this is what it means to be a parent. Because seriously, it isn't going to stop when I officially hit the second trimester, or when you're born, or anything like that. Sometime in March 2027 you'll be driving. And then I'll really start to worry. And then, in late August 2029, you'll go off to college, and that will just be awful. So I'm just going to get used to the freaking out. I'm doing the best I can, and you're doing the best you can, and together we'll get through the next 6 months and then the next decades, ok?
Love,
mom
Today we are listening to The Cars. The Cars are an awesome band from the 80's. Someday you'll hear all about the 80's and Madonna and Cindy Lauper and neon jelly bracelets and Bon Jovi and really bad hair, and a time when Mtv actually played music.
And we're having greek yogurt and a ceasar salad for lunch. Earlier we had chocolate milk. I know I'm supposed to drink a lot of milk so your bones get strong, but I don't really like milk very much, so we're drinking chocolate milk a lot. Sorry for the extra sugar.
Oh, and the other thing is, I'm completely freaking out about everything. I've had a lot of cramps in my belly the past few days - nothing awful, just some pain from time to time when I switch positions or stand up or something. I think it's pretty normal - they say it comes because the ligaments in my belly are stretching to make room for the growing uterus. But the point is, I keep freaking out about everything. I've decided that this is what it means to be a parent. Because seriously, it isn't going to stop when I officially hit the second trimester, or when you're born, or anything like that. Sometime in March 2027 you'll be driving. And then I'll really start to worry. And then, in late August 2029, you'll go off to college, and that will just be awful. So I'm just going to get used to the freaking out. I'm doing the best I can, and you're doing the best you can, and together we'll get through the next 6 months and then the next decades, ok?
Love,
mom
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Cravings
Hey Charlie Cheltenham - guess what! You're mama's having cravings! I just ate like 30 pickle slices, and your dad went out to get me some sauerkraut and mashed potatoes because I need them now. You're gonna get your first taste of sauerkraut!
Dear Charlie Cheltenham -
This morning I went to church. I'm trying to find a nice church to bring you up in. Your dad grew up in a church. I had a church when I was a teenager. I think it's important for you to have a church to grow up in - to get that sense of community, and tradition and routine, as well as be regularly reminded that there is something bigger than you in the world, and you're part of something everlasting and bigger than you could ever comprehend. So I think I found a church that might be a fit for our little family. I'm excited about that!
Now I'm home eating strawberry shortcake and a decaf iced mocha. Yay for decaf espresso! I'm going to have a nice bubblebath in a little bit, while I still can. I guess in a few months it might be harder for me to take a bath, and I LOVE baths, so I'm getting as many in now as I can.
I'm really hoping that my maternity clothes that I ordered come soon. It's getting difficult to wear my trousers, even with the belly band. And there are, like, four shirts I can comfortably wear. I haven't gained much weight yet, though. Maybe a pound or two.
Oh, the other thing I'm going to do, before I get in the tub, is get the chicken soup started. I like making chicken soup. I like boiling the carcass to make the stock, and how the whole house smells wonderful, and now that it's getting a little chilly, it makes the windows steam up. I just LOVE it. And I love cutting up the vegetables and everything. It's such a good time.
So anyway, i'm going to make your dad lunch and get the soup started now, and then take my bath. Later tonight we're going to go for a walk around the lake. I hope you are growing strong in there, and getting lots of loving vibes from us, because we're sending them all the time.
Love,
mom
This morning I went to church. I'm trying to find a nice church to bring you up in. Your dad grew up in a church. I had a church when I was a teenager. I think it's important for you to have a church to grow up in - to get that sense of community, and tradition and routine, as well as be regularly reminded that there is something bigger than you in the world, and you're part of something everlasting and bigger than you could ever comprehend. So I think I found a church that might be a fit for our little family. I'm excited about that!
Now I'm home eating strawberry shortcake and a decaf iced mocha. Yay for decaf espresso! I'm going to have a nice bubblebath in a little bit, while I still can. I guess in a few months it might be harder for me to take a bath, and I LOVE baths, so I'm getting as many in now as I can.
I'm really hoping that my maternity clothes that I ordered come soon. It's getting difficult to wear my trousers, even with the belly band. And there are, like, four shirts I can comfortably wear. I haven't gained much weight yet, though. Maybe a pound or two.
Oh, the other thing I'm going to do, before I get in the tub, is get the chicken soup started. I like making chicken soup. I like boiling the carcass to make the stock, and how the whole house smells wonderful, and now that it's getting a little chilly, it makes the windows steam up. I just LOVE it. And I love cutting up the vegetables and everything. It's such a good time.
So anyway, i'm going to make your dad lunch and get the soup started now, and then take my bath. Later tonight we're going to go for a walk around the lake. I hope you are growing strong in there, and getting lots of loving vibes from us, because we're sending them all the time.
Love,
mom
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Good morning Charlie Cheltenham -
I am making oatmeal - not the microwave instant crap, but real old fashioned, on the stove oatmeal. I'm trying to eat things that are good for you because I want you to be strong and healthy. I really am not fond of oatmeal myself, but it's ok this morning because it's kind of a chilly morning, and it feels like fall, and oatmeal feels like a fall food. In just a couple of months I'll get to say good morning to you in real life, and I can't wait! And in a couple of years, I'll make oatmeal for you on a fall-like chilly morning and we can eat it together, ok?
I also took my vitamin and my fish oil supplement so you can have a wonderful brain like your dad.
I hope you slept well. I slept better last night. Still trying to figure out how to get comfortable without laying on my belly, but I'll get there.
Love,
mom
I am making oatmeal - not the microwave instant crap, but real old fashioned, on the stove oatmeal. I'm trying to eat things that are good for you because I want you to be strong and healthy. I really am not fond of oatmeal myself, but it's ok this morning because it's kind of a chilly morning, and it feels like fall, and oatmeal feels like a fall food. In just a couple of months I'll get to say good morning to you in real life, and I can't wait! And in a couple of years, I'll make oatmeal for you on a fall-like chilly morning and we can eat it together, ok?
I also took my vitamin and my fish oil supplement so you can have a wonderful brain like your dad.
I hope you slept well. I slept better last night. Still trying to figure out how to get comfortable without laying on my belly, but I'll get there.
Love,
mom
Friday, August 6, 2010
Getting started...
Hello Baby Teysko -
A couple of things to get us started. First, your dad has been calling you Frank. I've been alternating between calling you Hermione, just because I love Harry Potter and I'd never name you that in real life; and Charlie Cheltenham because your "uncle" Sandor thought of it - I was talking about wanting to have a middle name that was a place in England because we love it there so much, and we were going through places like Wells and Skye and Soho, trying to think of good middle names, and he just came up with Charlie Cheltenham, and I think it's the cutest name in the whole world. Your dad vetoed it, though. So I'm going ahead and calling you Charlie Cheltenham for the next 6-ish months, while I still can.
Second, I'm starting this blog to document my thoughts to you. I've started a journal, too, which I will also give you someday. But with blogging I can do it anywhere. And I think about you all day long, and all night long too, lately, since I haven't been able to sleep. So this way, when I think about something I want to tell you, I can just jot it down even if I don't have the journal with me. Also, maybe your dad will collaborate with me on the blog.
You know, there was once a time where people didn't blog all the time. Blogs didn't even exist. Blogging wasn't a think you did. You know, I used to write term papers without the internet. Isn't that weird? I bet I'm going to be tweeting when I'm in labor with you. You know, tweeting didn't really exist until a few years ago, too. It's an exciting time to be born, that's for sure. I wonder what you'll be doing in 10 or 15 years with your phone/music player/camera/pda/other stuff I can't even think about now. You know, I had records. Like, real round records that you would play by putting this arm that had a needle on the record. Isn't that strange? I feel so old.
So anyway, I'm blogging to you because I think about you all the time, and I want you to know what I'm thinking about. Also, other people might be interested in what I'm up to with this pregnancy. You know, this is the first time I've been pregnant - at least that I know of. So it's all new and exciting, both for you, since you've only had life in you for about 9-ish weeks now, and for me, since I've never done this before. Today I am 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant with you. You will be arriving in about 28 weeks. Your dad and I are already starting to get ready for you. We're finishing projects around the house, and we're going to have a big yard sale to get rid of all the stuff that isn't really important to us anymore.
Your grandma - my mom - came to visit this week. She brought you a cute outfit that looks like a teddy bear - you'll be super-cute when we put it on you. Well, you'll be super-cute anyway, but you'll be extra super-cute with it on. We had fun looking at cribs and strollers.
Oh, here's an interesting tidbit - both your dad and I are only children, so you're the first grandchild on both sides! Isn't that exciting?
See what a big impact you're having on us already? And you're only the size of a plum! That's some kind of power!
Today I took your grandma back to the airport and then drove to Monrovia. On the way we listened to Owl City. I've been trying to listen to a lot of Mozart and Bach and classical music since I know your brain is forming, but today we blasted Owl City, and that was cool.
We went swimming in the lake twice this week. I hope you like it when we do that. I think you do. The water is pretty cold, but I figure you have all my padding around you, so you're probably pretty warm. And it's cool because when I swim underwater I think about how we're both submerged in water; only you can breathe and I need to come up for air.
Now it's Friday night and your dad is going to be out late, so I'm having a girly night at home. I'm listening to Lyle Lovett and trying to play a new video game your dad picked out for me, but I'm frustrated because I can't make the sound work, so I think that will have to wait. I might watch a girly movie like Bridget Jones and snuggle with the cats. I've been telling them about you. Lewis Hamilton, especially, loves to lay on my belly, and I tell him to purr extra loud so that you can feel it. They're pretty excited to have a human their own size around.
Oh, and the last bit of news is that I bought a bunch of maternity clothes online today, so I'm excited about that. I was trying to wait, and have been using the Belly Band, but it's starting to get uncomfortable.
You'll be here soon, and we're getting ready for you.
Love,
mom
A couple of things to get us started. First, your dad has been calling you Frank. I've been alternating between calling you Hermione, just because I love Harry Potter and I'd never name you that in real life; and Charlie Cheltenham because your "uncle" Sandor thought of it - I was talking about wanting to have a middle name that was a place in England because we love it there so much, and we were going through places like Wells and Skye and Soho, trying to think of good middle names, and he just came up with Charlie Cheltenham, and I think it's the cutest name in the whole world. Your dad vetoed it, though. So I'm going ahead and calling you Charlie Cheltenham for the next 6-ish months, while I still can.
Second, I'm starting this blog to document my thoughts to you. I've started a journal, too, which I will also give you someday. But with blogging I can do it anywhere. And I think about you all day long, and all night long too, lately, since I haven't been able to sleep. So this way, when I think about something I want to tell you, I can just jot it down even if I don't have the journal with me. Also, maybe your dad will collaborate with me on the blog.
You know, there was once a time where people didn't blog all the time. Blogs didn't even exist. Blogging wasn't a think you did. You know, I used to write term papers without the internet. Isn't that weird? I bet I'm going to be tweeting when I'm in labor with you. You know, tweeting didn't really exist until a few years ago, too. It's an exciting time to be born, that's for sure. I wonder what you'll be doing in 10 or 15 years with your phone/music player/camera/pda/other stuff I can't even think about now. You know, I had records. Like, real round records that you would play by putting this arm that had a needle on the record. Isn't that strange? I feel so old.
So anyway, I'm blogging to you because I think about you all the time, and I want you to know what I'm thinking about. Also, other people might be interested in what I'm up to with this pregnancy. You know, this is the first time I've been pregnant - at least that I know of. So it's all new and exciting, both for you, since you've only had life in you for about 9-ish weeks now, and for me, since I've never done this before. Today I am 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant with you. You will be arriving in about 28 weeks. Your dad and I are already starting to get ready for you. We're finishing projects around the house, and we're going to have a big yard sale to get rid of all the stuff that isn't really important to us anymore.
Your grandma - my mom - came to visit this week. She brought you a cute outfit that looks like a teddy bear - you'll be super-cute when we put it on you. Well, you'll be super-cute anyway, but you'll be extra super-cute with it on. We had fun looking at cribs and strollers.
Oh, here's an interesting tidbit - both your dad and I are only children, so you're the first grandchild on both sides! Isn't that exciting?
See what a big impact you're having on us already? And you're only the size of a plum! That's some kind of power!
Today I took your grandma back to the airport and then drove to Monrovia. On the way we listened to Owl City. I've been trying to listen to a lot of Mozart and Bach and classical music since I know your brain is forming, but today we blasted Owl City, and that was cool.
We went swimming in the lake twice this week. I hope you like it when we do that. I think you do. The water is pretty cold, but I figure you have all my padding around you, so you're probably pretty warm. And it's cool because when I swim underwater I think about how we're both submerged in water; only you can breathe and I need to come up for air.
Now it's Friday night and your dad is going to be out late, so I'm having a girly night at home. I'm listening to Lyle Lovett and trying to play a new video game your dad picked out for me, but I'm frustrated because I can't make the sound work, so I think that will have to wait. I might watch a girly movie like Bridget Jones and snuggle with the cats. I've been telling them about you. Lewis Hamilton, especially, loves to lay on my belly, and I tell him to purr extra loud so that you can feel it. They're pretty excited to have a human their own size around.
Oh, and the last bit of news is that I bought a bunch of maternity clothes online today, so I'm excited about that. I was trying to wait, and have been using the Belly Band, but it's starting to get uncomfortable.
You'll be here soon, and we're getting ready for you.
Love,
mom
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)